The Wholly Buy Bull
Books of Achoo and Puke
Chapter I
1. The Broker Gabe of The Upper East Side
Announced to The Whore, Stormy
That Magic Sky Grampa got an insider tip that she's hot,
Would bang her,
And that the Shyster of Shysters would be born to her
To rule over U.S.A. forever.
2. When the time drew near, Stormy’s pimp, Joe took her to Queens.
But there was no room at the Belmont Motor Inn,
So she gave birth in the men’s room of a gas station,
Wrapped the child in toilet paper
And laid him on a toilet.
3. Upon seeing the Son of Magic Sky Grampa on a toilet,
Joe named him Mushroom Dick.
And mechanics and attendants gathered round to worship.
Chapter II
1. Soon three Corporate Raiders from The Long Island in the East
Followed a rising Bull Market to Queens
And the men's room of a gas station,
2. When they found The Shyster of Shysters on a toilet,
They knelt down before him and lent him homage
At eleven percent,
3. Then offered him short sales
Of gold, big macs, and ketchup.
Chapter III
1. The Shyster Jared, King of the Concrete Club
Heard that the Shyster of Shysters had been born,
And would rule over U.S.A. forever.
He then ordered that all first born on toilets
Be liquidated.
2. Whereupon Joe, Stormy and Baby Mushroom Dick
Blew Dodge to Florida.
Chapter IV
1. But one day Shyster Mushroom Dick,
Son of Magic Sky Grampa,
And Shyster of Shysters
Would come of age,
And ready Mix his way back to Manhattan.
2. Where he would build an Unbelievably Huge Tower upon Fifth Avenue,
Phenomenal Hotels and Elegant Casinos in Atlantic City
And Vegas,
Big League Golf Courses on all the Horizons,
Rule the Tremendous Reality Shows of all the Outstanding Televisions,
Defeat Complete and Totally Crooked Pantsuit Woman,
Whack Pathetic Loser Magic Sky Grampa,
And rule over The Amazing U.S.A.,
The Beautiful World,
And All The Fabulous Heavens
Forever.
.
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